How to Make a Polite and Friendly Request in French

Knowing how to make a polite request in French is one of the first things taught in tourist guidebooks. In this lesson, we will dig a little deeper and explore the many ways of asking for something in a variety of situations, whether it be shopping, asking for directions, eating out, and more. Through our video examples, we will also discover the cultural niceties and etiquette that help smooth out such interactions.

As is customary in most countries, in France it is considered good form to greet the person you come into contact with. As the speaker in this video reminds us, it is important to toujours dire bonjour (always say hello):

Ah, ben oui... La politesse, la courtoisie, toujours dire bonjour, garder le sourire.

Oh, well yes... Politeness, courtesy, always say hello, keep smiling.

Caption 3, Télésonne Micro-trottoir : Comment manifester sa gentillesse?

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So don’t skip the bonjour part even when passing through the checkout line or buying a baguette at the bakery, for example:

Bonjour, je voudrais une baguette et deux croissants, s’il vous plaît.

Hi, I’d like a baguette and two croissants, please.

When on the phone, it is possible to substitute allô (hello) for bonjour, maybe to sound more friendly. Listen to Lionel making a trip reservation in this video. He starts with bonjour and then uses the conditional structure je voudrais (I would like to) + infinitive. (See our previous lesson on the conditional tense here.)

Oui, bonjour! Euh... je voudrais, euh, faire un voyage au Parc Astérix.

Yes, hello! Uh... I would like, uh, to take a trip to Parc Astérix [Astérix Park].

Caption 2, Réservation d'un voyage au Parc Astérix

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When asking for directions, instead of using the ubiquitous bonjour, you may want to catch the person’s attention first with the polite formula: Pardon, monsieur/madame, excusez-moi (Sorry, sir/madam, excuse me). Of course, it does not hurt to say s’il vous plaît (please) as well:

Pardon monsieur, excusez-moi. Place Vendôme, s’il vous plaît ?

Sorry sir, excuse me. Place Vendôme [Vendôme Square], please? 

In the example above, you will notice that the speaker is using formal language, with the verb in the second-person plural in the imperative mood (excusez-moi) and the formal vous in s’il vous plaît (literally, "if you please"). It is much simpler in English, as there is only one way of saying “you,” unless you want to sound Shakespearian!

When addressing a friend, you may drop the formal tone of your request and switch to the second-person singular of the verb by leaving out the Z at the end: excusez-moi —> excuse-moi (excuse me), like the shy chef does in this video. In an awkward and apologetic sort of way, he tries to sound casual and uses the personal pronoun te (you) to address his employee, whom he is about to ask out on a first date:

Excuse-moi... Je suis un peu gêné de te demander ça mais...

Excuse me... I'm a bit embarrassed to ask you this but...

Caption 51, Le Jour où tout a basculé J'ai volé pour nourrir mon fils - Part 3

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Further along in the video, the shy chef eventually plucks up the courage to ask his employee for a drink. First, he softens his request by using the imperfect tense, je voulais te demander (I wanted to ask you). Then, being ever so polite, he reformulates his question and asks her si tu serais d’accord pour qu’on aille (if she would agree to go for a drink together). Note how he manages to use two different verbal moods here, the conditional and the subjunctive, plus the imperfect tense!

Ce que je voulais te demander c'est... si tu serais éventuellement d'accord pour qu'on aille boire un verre ensemble?

What I wanted to ask you is... if you would possibly agree to go for a drink together?

Captions 57-59, Le Jour où tout a basculé J'ai volé pour nourrir mon fils - Part 3

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Thankfully, not every request needs to sound as complicated as the one above. In informal situations, you can simply say peux-tu (can you) and use the present tense for a slightly more direct approach:

Peux-tu m'appeler?

Can you call me?

Caption 33, Conversations au parc Ep. 1: Je n'ai pas mon téléphone

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Here is another example of a more direct approach. In the cartoon series Les Zooriginaux, Loupia asks Gigi the giraffe to ouvre-moi (open up for me) during a curfew. Here we have the imperative mood, since it is a command rather than a request, followed by the informal form of "please," s’il te plaît. (Refer to this lesson for info on pronoun placement with the imperative mood.)

Ouvre-moi vite s'il te plaît

Open up for me quickly, please

Caption 26, Les zooriginaux The Zoo Book - Part 3

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And if you're in need of help, this little phrase could come in handy: aide-moi (help me).

Et sauve-moi encore, aide-moi

And save me again, help me

Caption 2, Normandie TV Indochine au Zénith de Caen

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Or, in its plural/formal version:

Et sauvez-moi encore, aidez-moi

And save me again, help me

In a critical situation, you can ask for help this way:

Au secours! À l'aide! À l'aide!

Help! Help! Help!

Caption 24, Il était une fois: Notre Terre 25. Technologies - Part 3

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There is yet another way to ask for help, or anything else for that matter: with the impersonal phrase il faut que tu (you have to) + subjunctive. Remember to use tu (you) if you are talking to a friend:

Il faut que tu m'aides, je crois.

You have to help me, I think.

Caption 5, Anna et Louis Le vocabulaire des jeunes

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In a more formal situation such as asking your boss to help you, or when you're addressing more than one person, use vous. And don't forget that il faut que (you have to) is always followed by a verb in the subjunctive mood.

Il faut que vous m’aidiez, je crois.

You have to help me, I think.

Moving on to a totally different context, such as ordering food or drinks, for example, things are a lot simpler. You can just order a drink or food by saying je vais (vous) prendre. This is how Johanna orders her beer. Note that she uses the formal pronoun vous when speaking to the waiter:

Euh... je vais vous prendre une bière, s'il vous plaît.

Uh... I'll take a beer from you, please.

Caption 19, Joanna Son quartier

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Or you may prefer the simpler version: 

Je vais prendre une bière, s'il vous plaît.

I'll take a beer, please.

And for yet a more basic approach, you can just name your drink, and you will still get your beer…as long as you say s’il vous plaît!

Une bière, s'il vous plaît.

A beer, please.

In conclusion, making a polite request in French is not that different from English, but knowing when and how to use formal and informal language, which is an integral part of French etiquette, can be challenging. So be aware that your choice of words, tenses, moods, and pronouns will affect the tone of your message. This makes for complicated grammar choices at times, but feel free to explore our grammar lessons and videos to help you. Thank you for reading!